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A child of my own

July 17, 2006

So, I pray.  I pray and pray and pray for a child of my own.  A few entries ago I posted about my conversation with God about parenting and why it is that some women who don't deserve or want children have them.  ...an awesome friend of mine has a neice that is like this.  She was married and had two children, then divorced the man.  She later got involved with another man and intentionally got pregnant to give him a child.  They never married and eventually broke up.  This lil guy had a home at one point but for the most part has been shipped around to different houses for the majority of his life.  His family is involved in drug dealing and other illegal activities and doesn't have anyone related to him that hasn't been to prison for at least a little while (years).  My friend brought the idea up once to us a while back about taking him in.  I even posted about it on my teens diary.  But... it wasn't the right time.  And, that was fine.  However... now it looks as though my friend is going to have to take in her great-nephew because no one in their family wants him.  His father apparently told him he'd be better off to get adopted, and his mother is going to prison for quite a lengthy term.  The issues in the past were that his mother wouldn't legally relinquish custody because she was getting sec 8 housing and food stamps for him and she wouldn't give that up (but she would give up her child).  He has a LOT of problems.  He's delayed developmentally because of the lack of care he's received.  He has behavioral and emotional problems because of being brought up in a VERY unstable household.  All in all it'll be a battle... but for the wellbeing of this little boy I'm more than willing to take him on.  We have a two bedroom house, one of the rooms is an office that can easily be changed into a boys bedroom (it's red and blue, for the Cub's of course!).  And... although I would change his name, his initials (which is what he goes by anyhow) would be perfect to name him after Eddie's father.

***

Over the weekend nothing horribly exciting has happened.  We went out with some friends, who all questioned why I wasn't drinking.  Thank God Eddie was quick whitted... he said "Because she's driving".  And we left it at that.  Those who are close to us know we're trying... but it's family members really that we're trying to keep it hush hush from, til we actually find out for sure (if and when).

And... onto the "Question of the Day".  (if anyone reads here!)

How long til you can test?  (here's the word problem I just left on Bridgett-tat-'s diary.)

If I o'd on days 13-14, and it's day 22 now, how long til I can test?  I know blood wise you can test anytime after 1 wk... but for a urine test, when? 

And... a tid bit of interesting information.   I read that you can use an OPK to determine if there is HCG in your urine.  Sounds crazy huh?  Apparently an OPK can pick up the HCG the same as a preggo test, but a preggo test can't pick up LH surges.  The website I read it on compared HCG and LH to identicle twins, they said HCG was wearing a hat... and that the OPK would pick up on whether either of them were present where the preggo test would only pick up who was wearing the hat.

***

Pregnancy Symptoms... to be or not to be

I've been tired.  WAAAY tired lately.  I've been falling asleep all over, two, three, sometimes four times a day.  I may be just watching tv, driving, riding in the car, or just have a rash feeling of falling out because I'm just so tired.  This is kind of irritating to Eddie who is ready to bd and I'm just too dag tired. 

This could be attributed to my working two jobs and working harder at them (like I am online now).

I've been dreaming like I've never dreamed before.  I have tons and tons of dreams all the time, but for someone who was off from both jobs this weekend, as soon as my head hit the pillow I was dreaming... like in a deep deep sleep.  I have those short quick dreams that wake you up an hour later and you think you've rested all night long.

I have no idea what this could be attributed to...except that sometimes I dream harder, no idea.

I've been urinating quite often.  I probably get the urge to go about once every two to three hours.  I used to urinate three to four times a day and then once throughout the night... so it seems as though it's more often!

This could however be attributed to my intake on vitamins and the fact that it's warm so I'm assuming I dehydrate faster.

I went into the laundry room to do some laundry this weekend and smelt this funk-nasty smell.  I swear to you it smelled like sulfer (I say it smelled like a perm).  And, this morning I was going potty and the dogs were walking around and I swore that one of them took a dump right then and there at my feet... but nothing. 

This could be attributed to: maybe our laundry room has some mold or something somewhere, and maybe I didn't see the dogs dump.

Sooo... welcome to my world.  Everything is questionable.  EVERYTHING!

Love to you all...  And... can't wait for this 2ww to end.  Hopefully I'll have something very exciting to say!

~Amanda~