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Home › Diaries › Helen › December 5, 2006

Helen's Diary Entries

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CD 12, Folly tracking again.

December 5, 2006

CD 12, Cycle 20, Met Cycle 7, TTC #1 since May 7th 2005

Hi ladies,

well firstly I have to congratulate Anne, your duary entry was lovely and brought joy to my heart, the first BFP out of all of us, at last! I have written to you on your TTM board anyway, but had to mention you here. Have a hapy healthy 9 months and send some of that baby dust to each and everyone of us

Anyway, as you all know, AF found me last cycle and it was a wierd one yet again. Very light, lasted for 5 days with 2 days of spotting at the end, so 7 days altogether??? How can I go from pouring and clotting for as long as I can remmeber to all of a sudden, light and sometimes short? I am confused, I know that my lining was adequate last cycle at 15mm, it's just strange.

This morning i went to the hopsital for a Folly scan. My largest Follicle was on the left Ovary again and was the same as last cycle 14mm. I also had a 10mm Follicle on my right Ovary. So, if it all goes the same way again, I can hope to Ovulate on CD16 again, lets just pray for a longer Luteal phase, as it was only 11 days long last cycle. My next appointment is on Thursday at 15:30, so we will see what happens then.

I tell you, some people make me laugh with their naivity to TTC. The other day, a friend of mine who knows exactly what I am going through and has been kept updated etc was round my house. So she asks how it's going and I say that I have the Hopsital on Tuesday. She asks why, has everything gon wrong? I say no, I have to have Folly tracking again as I am not pregnant, she then says Oh, your not, so how comes, if you had te tracking last month and knew exactly when to time sex for etc. I mean how do unpatronisingly say, just because your sperm and egg are together doesn't mean you will definately get pregnant? I just said, well I still only have a 30% chance, I mean IVF doesn't always work! So then at work, a colleague of mine who has been out on maternity leave for 6 months asks me how everything is going and what the latest is, I tell her and she seems to listen. Then she says something, which I can't remember what it was but I said well the infertility rate is going up and statistically 1 in 4 couples are infertile and will have trouble conceiving. Well she starts ranting at me that I am not infertile and that's a pretty harsh statistic etc. I said, don't get confused with being sterile, I am infertile and I know some women don't like that term, but I feel that it somes me up perfectly, I am not fertile, so I am infertile, but I am not sterile, there is hope that I will have a child. I find it very annoying when people that have had no trouble conceiving at all, dare to start lecturing  people who have big problems and know a little bit mor about it than they do!

Sorry about that rant, just thought I would add it in here, I am not really angry, but I wish people would listen to how I feel when they ask a question. Whether I am infertile or not, if I feel that I am then I am looking for a little sympathy and encouragement, not to be berrated about my terminology. She means well and was probbaly just trying to give me hope in som strange way. Oh, I had said before hand that I couldn't help feeling like the 1 in 4 who is infertile, seeming as 3 of my friends got pregnant straight away and there is me, that's what sparked it all off.

Anyway enough of, so who's excited about Christmas? I am, my decorations went straight up on the 1st dec, I'll get some oiccies for my next entry. Only problem with Christmas, is the wait is already starting to go on....oh dear, oh wll it's Christmas.

Anyway, good luck to every one else this cycle, hope w all get Christmas BFPs, now that would be something.

Amanda, glad you got another thanksgiving with your grandfather, I hope that he can be treated! and shame on you, using a baby to get out of the washing up:O)

Anj, sorry to hear about your mother, that must be hard to deal with! Good luck for the 14th, will be waiting right there with you.

Jenn, welcome back, I am so glad to hear you have found a better RE and congrats o the house move. I have head that Met/Clomid combinations work well, so good luck with that, hope it all works out and at least you have Chrisatmas to make the 2 month wait  alittle more bearable.

Shannon, so sorry to hear that you are not O'ing, there are factors like stress and loseing weight than can stop you O'ing. If the cycles are very long and very irregular and you are charting with no apparent Biphase on your charts, then you could have PCOS. Take the provera and wait it out until january to see your Dr, it will all soon come clear if there are problems, I hope that there arn't, thinking of you:O)

Tiffany, that was a shock, I thought you had been O'ing? It is possible to have PCOS and tsts show up fine, that happens to me all the time, but I do indeed have PCOS. Usually to have PCOS you need to have both ovaries with cysts and be showing other symptoms, i.e. high testosterone, insulin resistance, weight problems, hair problems and acne. If you only have the cysts then it's just PCO, you would not have the syndrome. I am sure once they get you on the medications and injectables that you will start to O, so good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

Welcome Vanessa, what a life! I am so sorry to hear of all the sorrows you have and I pray you will get some joy with a BFP. Good luck on your journey.

Anyway, love to all,

Take care,

love helen xx




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