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Try, Try Again

What to Expect from Your Second Attempt at In Vitro Fertilization

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

The cost of a single cycle can be significant. When the first try fails, costs can accumulate quickly. According to Dr. C. Maud Daherty, co-author of The Fertility Handbook (Addicus Books, 2002), setting a spending limit prior to a second try may be wise.

"Couples must know going into IVF that there will be some costly procedures," says Dr. Daherty. "Setting a financial limit is wise. By almost anyone's standards, infertility treatment is expensive. Countless couples have gone into debt to try 'just one more time.' [We] advise against this, saying those who reach this point may be suffering from a compulsion much like any other activity they feel 'driven' to accomplish. It helps to have a plan in place, one based on logic rather than unsettled emotions."

Feelings of guilt, anger or disappointment from a failed first attempt can frequently offer a new set of stressors to a couple trying to conceive. "IVF the second time may be harder because it didn't work the first time," says Dr. Richard-Davis. "Different sets of stressors are associated with going through repeated attempts. One of the ways to help cope with this or lessen the harsh emotional involvement is to address with the doctor what happened the first time and whether or not anything can be done in terms of change of protocol to improve outcome for the second attempt."

A substantial time commitment is required by both partners to complete an entire course of IVF therapy. If the first attempt is unsuccessful, additional time will be needed in order to make a second attempt. "It will be necessary for couples to adjust their schedules to undergo additional testing and therapies associated with a second attempt at IVF," says Dr. Richard-Davis. "This type of situation often creates or exacerbates marital conflict and may require a bit of extra effort on both parts. Find time to talk about it and decide if it's conflict within your relationship or if it's created by your infertility experience. It is normal for marriages to have problems during this time."