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Try, Try Again

What to Expect from Your Second Attempt at In Vitro Fertilization

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

After each failed attempt to conceive, couples often feel themselves becoming more and more disheartened. Yet many do not find success until their second or even third attempt to conceive. Even though some things may get easier after doing them over and over, IVF – in many ways – is not one of them.

Doctor's appointments, tests, treatments, medications: all these things related to IVF can not only interfere with your career, your life and your relationships, but they can also take them over. Many feel overwhelmed, saddened by failure, angry at not conceiving and even depressed and guilty. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), this is normal. In contrast, the ASRM says that it may be these very emotions that motivate a couple to keep trying.

"I wanted a baby so badly that I had to snap myself out of what seemed to be a never-ending cycle of anger and depression," says Becky Forris, a medical transcriptionist from Oklahoma City, Okla. "It was the anger at myself and the depression at not having a baby that made me think, 'This is not what I want; I want a baby.' So, I – we – kept trying."

In many things, practice makes perfect. Unfortunately, this concept is not always true with the procedure of IVF. While the procedure's terminology and testing may be more familiar the second time around, trying to conceive may not be easier. In all actuality, for some, it is more difficult.

"From a patient's perspective, a second attempt is easier because of familiarity," says Dr. Gloria Richard-Davis, director of the reproductive endocrinology program at the Ochsner Clinic Foundation in New Orleans, La. "Knowing what to expect because they have already gone through the injectables, tests, procedures, etc., makes the process a little less stressful and may keep the couple from being as nervous. However, knowing what may or may not happen can often add an entirely new stress."