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Talking About Infertility

Telling Family and Friends

By Gwen Morrison

discussion board," says Wendy Simmons* from Oklahoma City, Okla. "I wouldn't even have told my sister, but I needed some background information as to why it took her almost 13 years to conceive her first child."

Simmons chose not to tell her family, having witnessed the pressures that were placed on her sister when she had trouble conceiving a child. "I remember her frustration and know that I just couldn't handle that," she says. "Sometimes it's very sad and I feel so isolated, but I know I am doing the right thing. My sister has been very supportive and that has helped a lot. She even sent me flowers after my surgery. She doesn't second-guess my decisions, and she listens to me. I guess you never quite forget the pain of infertility."

"There is a tremendous sense of loss experienced by infertile couples, and there is a great need to reach out," Dr. Seibel says. "At the same time, it is important to remember not to reveal information to anyone, including family, unless you want everyone else to know. Try to give family only the amount of information you are comfortable sharing."

*Name changed to protect privacy.

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• Talk about it!