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Talking About Infertility

Telling Family and Friends

By Gwen Morrison

Talk to any couple going through fertility treatments and they will tell you it is one of the most stressful things they have ever experienced. Some studies have indicated that infertility can be more life altering than a death in the family. The emotional factors, in addition to the physical strains, can be overwhelming for couples. During these challenging times, relationships with friends and family – even spousal relationships – are put to the test. At a time when you need the support of those closest to you, you might find yourself keeping a safe distance.

The very fact that infertility is such a personal issue is why many couples are hesitant to share their experiences openly with friends and family. They often retreat from sharing the details of their experience because they are afraid of the reactions. Having listened to the haunting questions about when they are going to have children for so long, many couples feel that the myriad of ensuing questions about conception difficulties will be too much to bear.

When trying to decide how much information to share with friends and family, keep in mind that before you entered into this new world of infertility there was much you didn't know about it. Your family and friends can be a great source of support during this time, if they are educated about the physical and emotional struggles of infertility.

"If a couple wishes to share their situation with family, it is my strong recommendation that the family have as much education about infertility as possible," says Dr. Lawrence B. Werlin, a fertility specialist and medical director at Coastal Fertility Medical Center in Irvine, Calif. "The best way to achieve this goal would be to utilize various educational venues such as The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) – also, the various patient advocate groups, such as RESOLVE, The American Infertility Association (AIA) and The International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination

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