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Spousal Support

The Guys' Guide to In Vitro Fertiliation

By Kelly Burgess

A woman has to go through a lot when she undergoes IVF. In addition to the emotional pain of infertility, the medical procedures can be harrowing. Her hormones and cycles are manipulated to the point that her emotions are often at a tight stretch. This is the time, says Marovitz, when a man has to put aside his own needs in favor of his wife's.

Based upon his experience and in talking to other husbands, this is what he suggests a man needs to know about supporting his wife through IVF:

• Understand the process and don't be shy to ask your doctor a lot of questions.
• Don't be embarrassed if pregnancy doesn't happen naturally. Separate your own anxiety and be supportive of your wife.
• Remaining positive for your partner is very critical throughout every step. If you're not, you will only add more stress to an already stressful event.
• Participate in the process as much as possible. It's a two-way street and you need to be in a prepared state to do what your wife needs you to do.
• Don't be afraid to seek counseling or emotional support – either as a couple or for your own peace of mind.
• Be careful who you tell. Prior to their first procedure, the Marovitzs told everyone about it. Then, when it failed, they had to tell their story over and over which made it much harder. On subsequent tries, Bob told no one and Deb told just a few select people.

Want to see more?

• Fuzzy Blue Hippo: A Hopeful Dad's Wait for Conception
• Male Factor Infertility
• The Infertility Marketplace: How Success Rates Are Advertised
• Talk about it!