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Men and Fertility Testing

Encouraging Your Husband to Face Fertility Challenges

By Teri Brown

There's just something about fertility testing that gives men the heebie-jeebies. Women, often filled with the overwhelming desire to become pregnant, don't care how inconvenient or time consuming the testing is – they're willing to do just about anything. Men, on the other hand, are often quite different. They can be resistant and downright hostile to fertility testing. Most women think it's a male pride issue, and though that can certainly be part of it, it doesn't explain the whole issue.

Dr. Paul Turek is a fertility specialist and the founder of the Turek Clinic, a facility that specializes in men's reproductive health care. He believes that women often miss the point, that going to the doctor for anything is counter to men's basic nature. The culture of men, as Dr. Turek calls it, is very different from that of women.

"Women live with a monthly biological event that helps remind them to take care of themselves," Dr. Turek says. "We live in a society where men usually don't seek help unless they are in pain or are compelled to by loved ones."

This coupled with the pride men have over their fertility makes going to see a fertility specialist a difficult pill to swallow. Dr. Turek says the best way a woman can approach this is to share how much it means to her. "Men, even if they want a baby, will be most motivated if they are doing it for their wives," Dr. Turek says. "Even if they won't go see a doctor for themselves, men are often happy to do it for someone else. It should be a very positive, very helpful thing."

Dr. Daniela E. Schreier, a licensed clinical psychologist, says denial is often the first response a man has when asked to take a sperm test. "It may constitute a blow to his ego, admitting there may be difficulty with his reproductive capacity," she says. "Gender education and cultural underpinning indicates a man has to be fertile and reproductive." The stereotype is that strong males have no problem being fertile. Taking a sperm test may make him confront those stereotypes and question his manhood. It may be viewed as a sign of weakness and may make him think of his own mortality and the end of his bloodline.

Want to see more?

• Check out our Article Library.
• A Man's Fertility: 8 Ways to Improve Male Fertility
• Little Cup-'o'-Phobia: Overcoming Fear of Sperm Count
• All About Sperm: What You Need to Know to Conceive
• Join the discussion on our Family.com community!

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