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Transracial Adoption: Parent's Wish List and Child's Bill of Rights
A Transracial Adoptive Parent's Wish List
Excerpted from Inside Transracial Adoption by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall, copyright 2000, Perspectives Press.
It would be so nice if:
- Everyone didn't think they were experts on my family.
- Nobody ever wondered if I was the best parent for my child.
- Nobody ever wondered if I was a good enough parent for my child.
- Nobody in the grocery store checkout line ever asked if my child belonged to me.
- Nobody ever asked at the playground, the emergency room or the barbershop where my child's parents were when I was right there.
- My extended family supported my decision to adopt across racial lines 100 percent!
- I was able to see beyond my experience and anticipate every time racial issues would affect my child.
- I could protect my child from all pain.
- I was always effective in building bridges to my child's culture.
- I had more energy and was able to go the extra mile every time to connect my child to her culture without sometimes making choices that were easier for me.
- I could give my child my white privilege.
- I could participate with my child in aspects of his birth culture without by my very presence making the point that he is different.
- It were easier and more natural for me to seek out friends of my child's birth culture.
- I didn't feel that outsiders through their attitudes about race judged most things I did.
- Nobody ever questioned whether we were their "real" parents or they our "real" children.
- We always "got it" before it happened, anticipated very hurt or affront and were somehow able to protect our children from pain while still giving them the opportunity to become deep and incredible human beings with full capacity to love, care and be happy.