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To Protect, Love and Nurture

The Journey From Single Person to Adoptive Family

By Mark Stackpole

Kathy Thompson is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her baby girl. Like many moms-to-be, she is nervous about the unknowns of parenthood and excited about the prospects of finally welcoming a child into her life. Unlike a lot of moms-to-be, she is not making trips to the doctor and taking tours of delivery suites. Thompson is waiting by the phone for the call that could come any day now – the call that lets her know that her baby girl, whom she is adopting from Ethiopia, is ready for her.

"I can honestly say that I always thought I would adopt," says Thompson, a public relations director from Springfield, Va. "Even when I was younger and thought I would one day marry and have children, I envisioned myself also adopting."

Even though she never married, the desire to adopt a child never left her. When Thompson turned 40, she began her personal journey, which included visits with a therapist, losing weight and making sure she was ready to introduce a new baby into her life. After working through those issues, she was ready to begin what she describes as the "paper chase."

After investigating her options for a domestic adoption, Thompson decided that the international process gave her the best chance of becoming a mother. Of course, just because it was the best chance did not make it an easy opportunity. During the process, she faced questions about her sexual orientation and her prospects for marriage. She also faced judgmental comments from some in her social circle who thought a child needed a father. In addition, the costs of an international adoption can be overwhelming, and financial assistance is harder to find for a single person looking to adopt than for a married couple looking to do the same.

At several points, Thompson mused to her social worker, "I could go out and get pregnant tomorrow, and no one would ask me a single question about my motives or ability and no one would charge me a single penny." But through the ups and downs of the process, she has found strength in the people who support her and her decision. "My family and friends have been nothing but supportive and excited with me in this process, and that is what I cling to," she says.

Want to see more?

• Seven Days to a Miracle: A Story of Adoption
• All Grown Up: Adoption Stories of Adults
• The Price of Parenthood: Financing Adoption
• Talk about it!