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When Dreams Come True

Pregnancy After Infertility

By Gwen Morrison

"Gaining trust in one's body to carry out this natural function may be difficult," says Dunnewold. "This fear and tentativeness can make the experience of pregnancy difficult."

Though Parish describes her pregnancy as uneventful, she does say that every day felt like "sitting on pins and needles." At 15 weeks, Parish had an amniocentesis, and the results indicated a healthy baby girl. "We were so thrilled," she says. "My husband and I tried to keep everything for the baby almost 'on hold' until we were very far along in the pregnancy – I know that was because of what it had taken us to get there."

Dr. Traci Kurtzer, an obstetrician and iParenting expert advisor from Evanston, Ill., agrees that couples who have been through infertility treatments feel much more concerned than other couples about a potential loss or other complications related to the pregnancy. "Because of this, they often feel like their pregnancy is 'high-risk' even when a history of infertility on its own is not considered a high-risk situation," she says. "For couples who experienced recurrent, early pregnancy loss who then find themselves pregnant, this worry is even greater and naturally extends even past the first trimester."

Couples often feel torn between their feelings of joy over the pregnancy and their fears of miscarriage. "Many women who have just learned that they are pregnant report having terrible dreams that focus on something happening to the baby," says Clapp. "Emotional ups and downs are common – tears flow easily, and feelings of joy, fear and ambivalence about the pregnancy and parenting all can surface."

Making the switch from an infertility patient to an obstetrical patient can be difficult. It may be hard to say goodbye to the infertility world that has been so much a part of your life for so long. "Often in the first trimester, women say, 'I don't feel part of the fertile world or the infertile world – I just feel different,'" says Clapp.

According to Dunnewold, patients who have been through successful infertility treatment often experience feelings of guilt when they don't feel completely positive about their pregnancy. "It's important to balance expectations with reality," she says. "Being pregnant and having a new baby is a difficult transition for anyone. It is normal to feel some negativity about the changes that occur."

Want to see more?

• Infertility FAQ: Common Questions Answered
• Are You or Aren't You? Common Signs of Pregnancy
• Baby's Early Days: First Trimester Growth
• Talk about it!