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Planning Pregnancies
Trying to Conceive at the Same Time
By Megan Kopp
of competition to see who gets pregnant first. Also, I find that we don't want to share the intimate details of trying to conceive, because one may take offense to it."
There are boundaries that good friends need to be careful not to overstep. "I wouldn't want her sharing my sex life with her husband, who is a friend of my husband," says Blair.
Feelings of competition, jealousy and emotional overload can actually take the fun out of the process. "There could potentially be a lot of hurt feelings and tension between the two or three of you," says McKenzie. "I think your friendship needs to be a strong and understanding one before planning something such as this." It's important to discuss these feelings with your friend to prevent problems. After all, you probably began this process together because you hoped to feel comforted and wanted to share your experience with someone who understood.
"Being able to talk about issues provides a sense of comfort, relief and normalization," says Dr. Carla Natalucci-Hall, a registered psychologist in New York. "It's important to realize that you're not the only one going through this experience." She adds that "a lot of time women feel isolated." Sharing the process or the journey is invaluable.
"This experience ... has been nothing but positive," says McKenzie. "I no longer work with [my friends], but I think the bond created during that time strengthened our relationships so much that no matter where we are, we will never lose touch."
*Name has been changed to protect privacy.
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Re: Planning Pregnancies by anonymous on 12/01/2008 04:40PM
Well this wasn't really PLANNED, but I was in the middle of wondering if I am pregnant when my coworker and only friend at work secretly told me that she just found out she is pregnant. Now I fear taking a pregnancy test. We work in demanding jobs, and I don't think management would take kindly to both of us being on maternity leave at the same time, because the bottom line would definitely suffer. After wanting a baby for so long (I have none; she already has one.), I am now gripped with fear at the possibilities. Other workers are always commenting about how close we are and how we distance ourselves from everyone else (in a personal way, not a professional way). Everyone will think we planned it and that we are inconsiderate. I have been having migraines since she told me. Worse case scenario (I feel guilty calling being pregnant "worse case."), we are pregnant at the same time. How do we handle it?
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Re: Planning Pregnancies by Mandy MDA57 on 11/20/2009 10:17AM
How could you even consider anyone or your work above your unborn child that you have so long awaited for. You should not feel guilty or bad or sad... Enjoy this time as it passes buy so fast. U know that it has not been planned so let people think what they choose. You have God on your side as well as your first unborn child & your husband. It's to you & your family's benefit that you keep safe & healthy. Put yourself first for your child depends on you...