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The Preconception Pressure Cooker
When Family Interferes in Your Reproductive Life
By Marie-Helen Goyetche
"There is no way to live up to your parents' expectations, so give up on that," Tessina says. "Allow them to be disappointed in you, if that's what they want to be. It will hurt a lot less than living a life that is not your own."
What happens, though, when your mother is like Judy's mom and is persistent about having grandchildren? Or how about Tania's* mother, who was full of questions and wanted to know every detail when she found out Tania wasn't taking the pill anymore? Tania does want to have children, but not right now. Instead, she switched to a natural form of birth control so that she could learn more about her body before pregnancy.
"I tried to explain to my mother (and others) that I was getting off the pill to get myself back on track," Tania says. "I guess educating others to the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) was my solution. I felt as if I had to explain myself and our choices as a couple, over and over again."
"Once [your mother] has heard your method and philosophy, repeting it is useless," says Tessina. "She may never agree with you, and she probably doesn't realize she's pressuring you."
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