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Home › Articles › Personal and Couple Time › The Preconception Pressure Cooker

The Preconception Pressure Cooker

When Family Interferes in Your Reproductive Life

By Marie-Helen Goyetche

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The Pressure Cooker-When Family Interferes"Looking back at the failure of my first marriage, I'm almost positive we might still be together if it wasn't for my mother interfering in our lives," says Judy*. "She put so much pressure on us about having a baby, she had the nerve to ask Mike when he was going for a sperm count."

Many couples have encountered this scenario before and have felt similar pressure. Is your mother or his mother pressuring you to have children? Just how much space is the future grandmother taking in your private lives? If this sounds familiar, you may need to be strong. Couples must present a united front when subjected to pressures from their parents, and they must respond firmly. They should place some emotional distance between themselves and their parents.

Any relationship takes work. It requires love, patience, understanding and commitment from both parties to survive the easy and the tough times.

The Stress of Family
"Child-rearing, pregnancy and fertility issues all put couples under extreme stress," says Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist. "Depending on how the stress is handled, it can enhance the bond of the couple or alienate them from each other."

Maria* and Bill's* situation went to the extreme when Maria lied to Bill's mother. "We started dating when we were in high school," says Maria. "I was so much in love with Bill. He told me in our first few weeks together he didn't intend on having children. He told me he couldn't handle children. He didn't want to 'try' to see if it would be different with our own kids. If we were to stay together, I had to face the fact that I would never have children. It took me a while to come to terms with that, but I decided being with Bill was the most important thing I wanted in my life."


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