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Pregnancies Lost, but Not Forgotten
One Woman Remembers the Children of Miscarriage
By Amanda Formaro
On Monday I went to work as usual. When I told my boss what had happened she convinced me that I must phone the doctor. When I did he instructed me to immediately get into the office, that I may develop an infection. An emergency D&C was performed in the office – no anesthetic. It was horrible. The pain was excruciating, as if someone were plucking out my insides. I cried and cried. No one was there to comfort me because I chose not to share my fears. My husband didn't even know I was there until the nurse phoned him.
I went home and cried. I cried for hours about the child I would never meet. So many thoughts went through my head. Was it a boy or a girl? Would he have blue eyes? Would she have brown hair? Would he be a lefty like his Mommy? Would she be a good student? Would he be a football star? Would she join the cheerleading squad? Hours. I cried until I fell asleep.
The next morning I began my recovery. My husband, friends, family and coworkers were wonderful. They expressed their sympathy and were encouraging as well. I don't believe that I have ever heard the phrase "It must not have been meant to be" so many times before in my life. So I guess that's true. It must not have been meant to be; something must have been wrong. Why else would it have happened? One minute a heartbeat, the next ... nothing.
Want to see more?
- Dr. Benson Discusses Miscarriage: An Expert Gives Answer to Your Miscarriage Questions
- Life After Miscarriage: Preparing for a Healthy Pregnancy After Miscarriage
- What's a D&C? The Ins and Outs of Dilation and Curettage
- Grieving My Loss: Short Stories About Pregnancy
- Join the discussion on our Family.com community!
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