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Myths and Truths of Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death
Trying Again Answers Grieving Parents' Questions About Loss
By Julia Rosien
Ann and Neil's family were very nervous and wondered how they would cope if they were to experience another loss. The Douglases told friends and family their good news on what should have been Laura's due date: January 11, 1997. They chose to reveal her pregnancy early and rely on the support and love from those around them. "I know they were all very relieved when Ian arrived safely," she says. "He didn't replace Laura, but he gave me a reason to be joyful again."
Douglas acknowledges that she's not the same person she was before Laura's death. She commemorates and honors her daughter's short life in many different ways. Douglas founded a local pregnancy loss support network (something widely available in larger centers, but not in her small community) and serves on the board of directors. The Douglases also make donations in Laura's name to various charities. These actions help them to reach out to others who have experienced the heartbreak of stillbirth.
Douglas believes that parents need to talk about their suffering with other parents who experience miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. "Grief can be an exhausting emotion – one that demands more of your time and attention than you want to give," she says. Her book Trying Again offers comfort in communal loss and hope, as well as practical medical advice and tips for couples who are ready to try again.
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