Re: Men and Miscarriage by anonymous on 05/27/2009 07:49PM

My miscarriage effected my work, social life and family - women have this too. And I forced myself to go on a planned ‘holiday’ while I was still bleeding so not to let people down. I understand it can effect men a lot but to say it’s “equal” really ignores the many levels that it effects a woman- emotionally/physically/ hormonally. What my body went through and the hormones really compounded my feelings. physically losing my baby made me grieve not just for losing my future child but for loss of the closeness I shared with him/ her during my pregnancy. I think loss is just felt differently between women and men, for different reasons. the information on this page got me to understand the differences with me and my bf and helped us understand where each other were coming from

Re: Men and Miscarriage by Andrew on 05/27/2009 04:07PM

My partner had a miscarriage just before christmas. We have both been affected by the event however how can my experence ever be comparible to that of my partner. As a women she was the one that has to come to terms with the loss of the being that was growing within her. As a man I can never imagine what it would feel like to have something so personal and precious growing inside me and to then have it taken away with such a frightening, painful experience. A man can experience grief to a degree but cannot take away the bond only a women forms with the growing baby from day one of pregnancy.

Re: Men and Miscarriage by anonymous on 05/27/2009 08:56AM

i'm very sorry for your loss. I appreciate that sometimes women come to terms more quickly with m/c than men and all depends on the individual. what i do appreciate about this article though, as a miscarriage sufferer is that it acknowledges that there is necessarily a a difference between the type of loss felt by a woman and the loss felt a partner. Women who have had the baby living with them everyday will be able to experience a more tangible and physical sense of loss than a partner. This doesn’t mean partners have not had a loss, that their feelings are invalid or that they can not be left devastated by miscarriage. It just acknowledges that partners will experience loss differently as they’ve not had such a close, personal connection to the baby and not had all the emotional/ physical changes related to pregnancy. I had a bond with my baby and had to carry it within me when I’d known it had died. I also had to expel the pregnancy. That was very painful, horrific and frightening- whilst my partner was of course effected but obviously not in the same sense i was.

Re: Men and Miscarriage by Rhys on 05/23/2009 03:32AM

I am a 22yr old male who has recently had to deal with the lose of our first child, the fact is we cant say women or men grieve longer than the other. im still hurting inside and my partner has moved on from the situation. Men do not have it easier because it affects work, social life and family Women and Men have equal pain

Re: Men and Miscarriage by helen on 05/19/2009 08:02AM

For me it was important to understand why my partner didn’t feel such a prolonged loss s and that the loss he did feel was different to the way I understood mine- because I experienced it in such a tangible, physical sense and experienced all the emotional and physical changes during my pregnancy that make it so real. This information helped me a lot because whilst my grief continues, my partner has moved on.