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Too Young?

Are You Too Young to Be a Parent?

By Shel Franco

"I'm the youngest mom there," says Hammers of her playgroup. "The first time I went, two people asked if I was the sitter!" Hammers and her 2-year-old son have been attending playgroup for several months. By now, the women all know that Hammers is not a baby-sitter, and they include her in conversations. Still, Hammers doesn't consider the women to be her friends, nor does she expect that to change.

"We don't have anything in common," adds Hammers. "Sure we talk, but it's not like I feel comfortable enough to meet with them outside of playgroup."

Unfortunately, finding friends your own age can be just as difficult. After all, most adults in their early twenties are in college, playing the dating game and beginning careers. Your old child-free friends may a hard time reconciling the differences between your lifestyle and theirs – such as understanding that they need to give advanced notice of plans so you can find a baby-sitter or not call late at night.

"Our friendships with people our ages almost completely dissolved," says Mia Nicholas, an 18-year-old mother of two in Clio, Mich. "People I'd known for five and six years stopped talking to me and coming to see me once it was made known that I couldn't 'hang out' and wasn't interested in much else besides my [kids]."

Want to see more?

• Considering having a child alone? Read Choosing Single Motherhood
• If you've made the decision to try to conceive, read Planning to Conceive: How to Improve Your Odds
• If you've made the decision to try to conceive, take the Are You Ready to Try to Conceive? quiz.

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