quick clicks

preconception articles

preconception q&a

community & groups

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Crueler Than Hope

Handling the Disappointments of Trying to Conceive

By Mark Stackpole

Then, on Day 17, her temperature actually went up a little bit. I could feel Hope skulking around. The post-luteal phase lasts 12 to 16 days, and if the day of ovulation is correctly charted, then there should be little mystery about the length of her cycle. She was either "living on borrowed time," or she was pregnant.

I could hear Hope knocking on my door, and I could feel myself letting it in. Inviting it in like a long-lost relative, encouraging it to make itself at home in my heart and perhaps stay for a little while. I was always a sucker for Hope. I think we all are. Perhaps we have to be.

On Day 18, Charlotte's temperature dropped dramatically, and her period began shortly after that. I did not have to throw Hope out, because it had already gone quietly out the back door. There are few hard and fast rules to fertility, but we seemed to have proven the exception to even the most basic of theories. It was only our first try after the surgery, I reminded myself. We knew the count would still be low. We knew that conception, if it were going to occur at all, would more likely occur several months from now. We knew, we knew, we knew. Why did it still hurt so much? Because of Hope.

Want to see more?

• Too Toxic to Conceive: Is Your Lifestyle to Blame?
• Male Factor: Infertility From His Perspective
• Truth Be Told: Common Infertility Myths
• Talk about it!