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All I Want for Christmas Is a Baby

Infertility During the Holidays

By Michele St. Martin

Tammy, who lives in Davenport, Iowa, is putting Jacob's advice into practice this year. "I avoid stores with Christmas themes, and try to buy gifts via the Internet," she says. "I guess I just feel I have to avoid a part of life that could cause further pain." Tammy lost her first child a week before Thanksgiving last year; the baby was 12 days old. She has since been unable to conceive.

Sharing Feelings

RESOLVE, the infertility advocacy organization (www.resolve.org), has some good advice for coping. RESOLVE encourages couples to stay tuned-in to each others' needs and suggests that they "set aside time to share your feelings with each other. Allow yourself to feel sad, deprived or depressed. Infertility is a major life crisis and you are entitled to those feelings. Talk with each other about your feelings. Your spouse may be able to help you through the rough times."

RESOLVE also suggests: "Remember to capture the 'spirit' in each holiday which makes it special. Participate in activities which bring meaning to you at this time; create the joy intended in celebrating the holiday for its own sake."

Good advice for everyone, infertile or not.

Want to see more?

• Myth Busters: 10 Not-so-true Statements
• Fertility Drugs: Are They Right for You?
• The Infertility Marketplace: What to Ask a Health Care Provider
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!