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All I Want for Christmas Is a Baby

Infertility During the Holidays

By Michele St. Martin

Jacob encourages infertile couples to become good copers. "Coping is about having a sense that you can manage a little bit about how you feel in every situation. It's not about controlling the situation or controlling others. You know that certain situations will be tough. Good copers prepare for situations." She points out that by anticipating situations, couples can prepare to make choices, not be victims. "The essence is, good copers are people who have bags of tricks."

Making Choices

Jacob advises that couples make a conscious choice about whether or not to be in treatment over the holidays. "It's a choice to whether you want to take a month or two off or stay in treatment. Will you have guests in the house who don't know you're in treatment – will you have to make excuses about doctors appointments, hide needles? Or will there be guests who know, and who can help out by running errands while you're at doctor's appointments? Think about the timing of the cycle, and where you'll be when you get results. Look ahead in that way. It's okay to take some time off, to participate in the holidays. You don't have to put your life on hold; you can participate in life as it is now."

Jacob encourages couples to take especially good care of themselves physically to help cope with the stress of infertility. Around the holidays, many of us ea too much, drink too much and don't get enough sleep. "Emotional reserves are deleted in treatment, and it's especially important to be moderate and take care of your physical health at that time." Jacob points out that this is true not just during the holidays of Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas, but also during other holidays such as Mother's Day.

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