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"Dear Sandra..."

A Letter From a Friend

By Sandra Joslyn Tallarico

In dealing with these oh-so-inconvenient feelings, I think that acknowledging they exist is only the first step. Something needs to be done about them, something proactive. What, like throwing darts at pictures of the perfectly pregnant Cindy Crawford? As appealing as that idea is, that's not exactly what I have in mind, though if it works for you, go for it.

"Like in high school English?" Yeah, like that. Journaling is an invaluable technique not only for getting your feelings some much-needed fresh air, but for discovering what those feelings are. So often, bottled-up feelings roam around our subconscious like some sort of demonic Pac-man, leaving us feeling agitated and depressed, yet unable to put a name to our pain.

Writing unleashes the creativity in all of us. It gives us a place to let those things loose that are just too niggling and petty to say out loud, but nonetheless exist. It helps us nail down what we're feeling, so we can begin to deal with it, and heal.

A journal can be anything you want it to be; it's uniquely yours. It can be as ornate as a leather-bound volume with a feather pen, or as Spartan as a floppy disc. That's the point. It's yours. It can be whatever you want it to be. You can express yourself freely without fear of reproach. It's your own private therapist.

Yes, I know, it sounds trite, and it's been done to death. "Feeling like a failure? All you need is an Exercycle to turn that frown upside down!" I don't mean that. I've been bludgeoned with that club enough times to know it's hogwash.

Exercise is not the cure-all some claim it to be, at least not for most of us mere mortals. But it is

Want to see more?

• Truth Be Told: Common Infertility Myths
• The Facts to Relax: Cope With the Stress of Infertility
• The Price of Parenthood: 4 Steps to Financing Fertility
• Talk about it!

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