728x90
my iParenting
From Our Sponsors
e-newsletters
Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters

new terms of use
new privacy policy
award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Home › Articles › Essays › "Dear Sandra..."

"Dear Sandra..."

A Letter From a Friend

By Sandra Joslyn Tallarico

Pages:  1  2  3  4  5  

That's the crux of it, isn't it? Life is not fair. That's probably the best single piece of wisdom my mom's ever given me. Well, that and "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" But that's an article for another time.

Life is not fair. This is such an important truth that I'll write it again: Life ... is ... not ... fair. Which is not to say that it's impossible to be content, and even happy, for your pregnant friends. It is. There are things we can do to cope.

Acceptance
Accept that it's painful. We tend to be very hard on ourselves about our feelings. It's not a cop-out to admit that feelings are very difficult, if not impossible, to control. They are. They don't respond to rational arguments. As a drama coach of mine once said, "It is what it is." That's the way with feelings – they are what they are. Actions, on the other hand, are what we need to work on controlling.

OK, I'll admit it. There may be a time or two (ahem) that I have given way to cheap comments. I'll be the first to sign up for my new club "Petty Infertile Women Anonymous" (PIWA). The word "rabbit" MAY have escaped my lips a time or two when another friend (all right, ex-friend!) of mine had her third child in three years. And I wasn't thinking about the cute, cuddly little animal, either. I was abject. I was bitter. I was jealous.

I could have controlled my actions, in this case, my "oh-you-took-that-negatively?" pseudo-innocent comments. But even if I had duct-taped my lips shut, I couldn't have controlled my feelings. I think denying them only leads to bouts of PIWA syndrome. It has for me.


Pages:  1  2  3  4  5  

Want to see more?

Comments

There are no comments for this article yet.Be the first to add a comment.

Post As:
Enter your comment below:
Title
Comment Text
CAPTCHA
Please note that any comments submitted become the property of Disney Family / iParenting and can be edited and posted at our discrection.