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Ready, Set, Mother

Making Changes and Choices

By Teri Brown

Braner cautions new mothers to turn away from anything that might deny, burden or sabotage their new roles. "If a new mother is gentle with herself, she is able to extend herself more intently to her child," says Braner. "Love for oneself begets love for one's child."

Braner suggests that one way a new mom can prepare herself for motherhood is to keep a journal throughout the process of becoming a mother. This will help to keep the new mother in touch with herself emotionally. "After the baby's born, our hearing is tuned outward to distinguish between cries of hunger and fatigue, but mothers need to remember to keep an ear to their own inner needs too," says Braner.

Numerous books have been written about the physical and emotional needs of infants. As our knowledge increases, so does the pressure we put on ourselves to know and understand everything. This sort of pressure is counterproductive when it comes to preparing ourselves mentally for motherhood.

"Reading parenting books is fine, but I also recommend reading personal stories from mothers themselves," says Braner. "Sometimes parenting books unintentionally reinforce unrealistic expectations for parents, leading them to believe there's only one 'right' way to parent, and that's just not true."

Another source for good, solid mothering information can be found in a mentor. She doesn't necessarily have to be a member of your family and you don't necessarily have to take all the advice she hands out. But a compassionate woman with experience can help you feel more self confident about yourself as a mother and give some on-target, no nonsense advice.

Also, remember that joining a mother's support group before you have your child can be a great source of information as well as being an emotional support. Web sites, radio shows and both national and local magazines are also good for up-to-the-minute information.

Want to see more?

• Baby's Early Days: First Trimester Growth
• When Dreams Come True: Pregnancy After Infertility
• When Am I Due? Calculating Baby's Arrival Date
• Talk about it!