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Home › Articles › Early Pregnancy › Infertile No More

Infertile No More

Making the Transition from Infertility to Pregnancy

By Mark Stackpole

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Given all of these internal and external stressors, it is important that pregnant women lower their stress levels and increase their ability to relax and enjoy the pregnancy. Dr. Miller recommends education and communication. Not only will self-education help to avoid surprises, but open communication with her healthcare provider will help the mom-to-be feel like she has trustworthy, professional help as she faces this life-changing event.

Dr. Miller also encourages husbands or partners to be there as a mom-to-be experiences pregnancy milestones. "That means going to ultrasound appointments and attending childbirth classes," he says. "Put forth some effort to let them know that this is your pregnancy together."

For Erin Mitchell, the path to enjoying her pregnancy began even before she knew that she could get pregnant. "By the third IVF cycle, I had come to realize that my getting pregnant was not something I got to control," she says. "I stopped believing that everything I did – eat, sleep, exercise, sex position, stress level – had an impact on my ability to get pregnant. I wasn't doing anything dangerous or unhealthy, so either the miracle was going to happen or it was not. Because of that mindset, I actually felt that being overly-cautious once I was pregnant was unnecessary. I remember thinking, 'We went through so much to get here; I just can't believe that this isn't going to happen.'"

Tips for the Dad-to-be

While massages and yoga are likely to be an enormous benefit (not to mention the joys of a little retail therapy), dads-in-waiting, you are an integral part of helping mothers-to-be feel loved and supported as everything about her body and life shifts into a higher gear.

Erin Mitchell, now the mother of two, offers the following advice to the male half of the previously infertile couple:

  • "Be attentive," she says. "Treating me like I was pregnant – offering to find me artichokes out of season, demanding that I not try to move that heavy box, giving me foot massages – was a great feeling. I felt that if my husband believed the pregnancy was real, then maybe it really was."
  • "Help your wife feel special and pregnant," she says. "It will relax her and in turn, relax you."
  • "Go to as many doctor's appointments as possible," she says. "Hear the heartbeats together, see the ultrasounds. It is all very comforting information."
  • Express yourself. "Talk to each other about your fears, doubts and whatever else you feel," she says. "Going through it together is much easier than separately suffering, thinking that you are weird for not enjoying what you've been praying for for years."

Not to be outdone, her husband, Cliff, admittedly a man of few words, cuts to the chase about helping his wife enjoy her pregnancy: "Back rubs with oil are good," he says.


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