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Infertile No More

Making the Transition from Infertility to Pregnancy

By Mark Stackpole

Battling infertility takes everything that a couple has, emotionally, mentally and physically. There are fears of never having a child and feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Depending on the circumstances, a potential mom may have to have anything from injections to surgery, never mind dealing with the well-meaning home remedies and advice offered by seemingly everyone around her. And what happens to intimacy and physical closeness when lovemaking turns into baby-making?

Certainly, there is a price to be paid for facing such issues, but there is no greater reward for facing down these fears and insecurities.

What happens, then, when a couple who has successfully faced infertility finally gets the news that they are pregnant? Maybe tears of joy. Perhaps some jumping around and hugging in rapturous disbelief. Often, a simple exhalation of relief. However, making the transition from infertile couple to parents-to-be is not without some stress of its own – many people have the fear of something going wrong and the accompanying concern that, if anything does happen, they may never get pregnant again. If they let this natural concern turn into hyper-vigilance, many of the joys of pregnancy may get lost amidst the anxiety.

So what can a couple do to focus on staying happy (and healthy) as they work on bringing that wonderful new life into the world? (And while relaxation is a part of it, don't simply say, "Relax." This actually increases pressure and anxious feelings – not to mention frustration.)

"When we finally got pregnant the first time, the initial reaction was all-out celebration – 'We did it. It worked. We are supposed to be parents,'" says Erin Mitchell, an educational consultant from San Jose, Calif. "It was blind happiness. When, two days later, the hormones weren't looking good, the mood died down, but the hope never left."

Want to see more?

• Am I? The Early Signs of Pregnancy
• "Mark!" One Man's Story of Fertility Success
• Pregnancy Can Be Stressful: Managing Stress During Pregnancy
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!