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Home › Articles › Diagnosed Infertility Issues › Counseling Infertility

Counseling Infertility

Professional Help for the Emotional Side of Conception

By Beth Hering

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"The most helpful thing for me was how intuitive my therapist was – and his ability to bring things out that I never thought of that related to other areas of my life," Spassione says. "He listened – and interrupted at the correct times. He summarized my thoughts correctly. He made me think about what was going on and gave me alternatives to move to. The third-party perspective is very important. Family and friends don't always want to hear about these issues – you are either too driven to them or too emotional. That outside view of what is going on is really centering and allows you to see where you are really going."

Kane talks about her counseling experience: "I liked her nurturing manner and often felt better after going just because of that. She was like a personal coach and helped me see how my current behaviors and thoughts weren't very helpful and offered other ways to cope. She was sometimes pushy, and sometimes she just let me cry. She validated where I was at and encouraged/helped me to change."

Where to Turn

Galst points out that after making the decision to seek professional help, some people are at a loss as to what to do next. The AFA (www.theafa.org/resources/therapist_network/all) and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (www.asrm.org/search/asrm_mentalhealth/index.html) can be great starting points for identifying local therapists. Spassione's general practitioner researched therapists for her through the insurance company, while Kane found hers through calling a few professionals in the phone book until she found one that sounded like a good fit.

"You can't know how it will go until you try it, but the sooner people deal with their issues, the sooner they can live again," Spassione says.

Considering Counseling

While each person handles infertility issues differently, Dr. Joann Paley Galst recommends considering psychological counseling if either partner has:

  • felt sad, depressed or hopeless for more than two weeks.
  • noticed changes in eating or sleeping patterns (more or less).
  • felt anxious, agitated or worried much of the time.
  • been having panic attacks.
  • been having difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
  • had persistent feelings of worthlessness or guilt.
  • felt easily irritated, angry or frustrated.
  • a desire to be alone much of the time.
  • a loss of interest in sex.
  • had thoughts of death or dying (seek immediate attention).


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