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Mulling over Motherhood

Do You Really Want to Be a Mom?

By Kelly Burgess

When Suzan Erem of Chicago, Ill., was 29 years old, she and her husband decided it was the right time for them to have children. She told her gynecologist of her decision but added that she was afraid of motherhood because she hadn't had a good role model. The best her gynecologist could do was to recommend that Erem read What to Expect When You're Expecting (Workman Publishing Company; 3rd edition, 2002). That wasn't what Erem needed to know.

What Erem wanted to know was what to expect from herself. How would she juggle motherhood with a full-time job and a husband who traveled a lot? What would she do at 3 a.m. if the baby was too sick to move and she had to go out and get medicine? Did she have enough support to keep from going crazy? In other words: What is motherhood really like?

"There are a million baby books out there, but no books for women about what their life will be like when they actually have a baby – or a 15-year-old or a 7-year-old," Erem says.

Erem never got answers to her questions. When she was unable to withstand the pressure of work, home, no family support, a new city and a husband who traveled frequently, she decided she would be a better mother if she distanced herself from the situation. Her actions resulted in Erem becoming much more confident as a mother, and although she's not on the premises 24/7, she's very involved in raising her daughter.

Fortunately for other potential moms, Erem went on to write Do I Want to Be a Mom? A Woman's Guide to the Decision of a Lifetime (McGraw Hill/Contemporary Books, 2003).

Want to see more?

• Decisions, Decisions: Thinking About Pregnancy: Which Parenting Path Is Right for You?
• Telling Family to Butt out of Your Reproductive Life!: Who Controls Your Future Fertility?
• Baby Talk: How to Approach the Subject of Having a Baby
• Join the discussion on our Family.com community!
• Money, Marriage and Medicine: Some Things to Think About Before Conceiving