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Maybe Another Baby

Are You Ready to Be Parents Again?

By Kendeyl Johansen

Couples with stable marriages, health and finances are ideally ready to consider pregnancy. But how far apart should baby number two, three or more be? "Couples need to be realistic about how much time and effort each partner is prepared to put into parenting," Douglas says. "If one partner tends to have a 'hands off' attitude toward childrearing and/or puts in a lot of hours at the office, the other partner needs to assume they'll be doing the lion's share of the baby care – in that case they may want to postpone the birth of a second child until the other child is more independent, 3 years of age or older."

Kim and Maukka Arminen of San Diego, Calif., both work outside of the home and share the responsibilities of raising 1 1/2-year-old Alexa. "We weren't exactly sure about spacing but we didn't want the siblings to be too far apart," says Arminen. "I had no idea how much work one child is and we'll probably stop at two."

Tina Boland of Laguna Beach, Calif., mom to teenage Andrew, remarried and decided to have more kids. "My husband, Tim, and I really wanted children," she says. "Family is important to us and having children together bonds us in a very special way." The Bolands had three children in four years. "Some would look at the ages of my kids and say I am crazy!" she says. "However, having children close in age was extremely important to me, no matter what the workload." She and her five siblings (all very close in age) are devoted to each other, and Boland wants her kids to have the lifelong, tight-knit sibling relationships she enjoys.

During her second pregnancy, Boland worried how Andrew would react to a new sibling, even though from ages 3 to 11 Andrew blew out is birthday candles and wished for a brother or sister. Still, Andrew had been an only child for almost 14 years when baby Kiara was born.

Want to see more?

• Baby No. 3: What Do You Do When Just One's Content with Two Children?
• When He Won't Change to Start a Family: Your Partner's Preconception Health Matters
• One and Only: Is One Child Enough?
• I Want Another, He Doesn't: 3 Steps to Coping
• Join the discussion on our Family.com community!

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