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Home › Articles › Considering Pregnancy › Going Solo as a Parent

Going Solo as a Parent

The Pursuit of Single Motherhood

By Teri Brown

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  • Spend a lot of time with new parents and their baby, just observing what it's like to care for a newborn.
  • Do a little self-assessment – have you done enough of what you wanted to do in life so that you are ready to focus on raising a child and sacrifice a lot of your own emotional and financial needs?
  • Again, talk to people who have made this choice, as they are your best resource.

    • The Fine Print
    Once your basic decisions are made, it's as easy as finding an adoption agency, visiting the sperm bank or scheduling a late-night rendezvous with a male friend, right? Wrong. Susan B. Apel, professor of law and the director of the general practice program for the Vermont Law School, suggests that women should first see a lawyer about the legal aspects of their choice.

    "I think any woman who is considering having a child should speak with a lawyer – one who is knowledgeable about family issues – to obtain the best legal advice," she says. "When it comes to family law, each state may be different, and it is important to seek advice from an attorney in your state before doing anything else." Because the use of reproductive technologies is recent, it has resulted in many court cases over numerous issues, says Apel. Women need to know the risks of proceeding to have a child in what is still viewed as a less than conventional manner.

    Apel says that, generally speaking, the legal status of sperm donors is that they are just that and nothing more. Should a donor attempt to obtain custody, they would most likely be unsuccessful. But she is also quick to point out that since the law in this area is relatively new and evolving, it is possible that a sperm donor could bring such a case. However, most states agree and have laws that state that a sperm donor is not a legal parent. Again, check with a lawyer to be sure of what the law says in your state.


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