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Considering Pregnancy Later in Life
What's Stopping You from Becoming a Mother?
By Judy Molland
Whitham applauds the time and effort that Judy and David put into talking to their son, and urges parents in a similar situation to think carefully about the issue of siblings. "There may well be jealousy and resentment directed at the arrival of a younger child," she says. "Parents need to work hard to avoid that. Don't take it for granted that the older child will baby-sit, for example, but ask instead, and always pay the older sibling for his babysittin
Whitham describes a situation in a family she is currently working with where the child feels that he was part of one family that was a failure, so now Mom is trying to have another one to make up for it. "You just have to go into the idea of adding a 'second family' with your eyes wide open," Whitham says. "You and your new partner may be very excited about it, but that excitement may not be reciprocated by your child."
The experts interviewed for this article all agree that it's important to evaluate your individual situation and personal needs and to take into account what your partner is feeling. It's crucial that you listen to each other, and that you are both in complete agreement. But an overwhelming mutual respect was projected from the couples who shared their stories for this article. As they engaged in lengthy discussions about parenting, it was obvious that their children will be well loved and most welcome.
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