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Donor Decisions

Considering Donor Egg & Sperm

By Michele St. Martin

Jacob asks couples to examine their personal values in making this important decision. "For families and couples with a strong value of honesty, it can be a very negative thing to build a family on a lie," she says. "Honesty gives a parent an opportunity to teach children that life is not fair and how to be a resilient person – both important tasks of being a parent."

Something that Jean once read has stuck with her as she looks toward the possibility of conceiving her child through egg donation. "I read somewhere that infertility is a series of steps of giving up your dreams," she says. "First, you give up the dream to conceive naturally. Then, some give up the dream of conceiving a biological child. Some then give up the dream of being pregnant and feeling their child live inside of them and then giving birth. Some then give up the dream of giving love to a child. Each step brings a different set of decisions, a whole new world of emotions, and we all pray not to progress to the next step in the chain."

But Jean adds, "I think that technology is amazing. To even have an option at this point is wonderful. We know that there are no guarantees (that donor egg will work for us), but we are grateful for the opportunity to have a piece of our dream."

Want to see more?

• The Surrogacy Search: Starting Out
• Adoption: Where Do I Start?
• Embryo Adoption
• Talk about it!

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