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Domestic Adoption

Building a Family

By Michele St. Martin

Many people who choose adoption to build their families do so after a diagnosis of infertility. Others who are not infertile choose adoption to build a family or to add to their existing families.

According to adoption and infertility educator Patricia Irwin Johnston, there are several completely separate decisions to be made, one at a time, after careful research and reflection:

1. To adopt at all.
2. Whether to adopt an infant or an older child.
3. The relative health of the child.
4. Whether to adopt domestically or internationally.
5. Whether to use an agency or adopt independently.
6. What degree of communication one wants with the child's birth family.

These decisions must be made separately, but not necessarily in this order.

Adoption was something that Vicki and Mark Baker had always planned on – they even discussed adoption when they were dating. Vicki, 34, and Mark, 37, of Gladstone, Ore., were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Their treatment included six Clomid cycles (three of them with intrauterine insemination or IUI) and six cycles of injectible fertility medications with IUI. All 12 cycles failed. They decided to end treatment. "When infertility kept us from achieving a biological child, it was easy to decide on adoption," Vicki says.

Like the Bakers, Tami and Kris Davis of Washington state were also diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Tami, now 36, was 33 when she and her husband, Kris, underwent testing to learn the cause of their infertility. Everything looked fine, Tami says. They tried one cycle each of in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and IUI. Both cycles failed. Tami and Kris were in treatment for infertility for about a year before they ended treatment and moved on to adoption.

Want to see more?

• The End of the Road: Letting Go of Biological Parenthood
• Who Are All These People? Your Guide to Who's Who During Adoption
• Waiting Children: Foster Care and Adoption Basics
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!