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Bringing Adoption into the Light

The Myths About Adoption
and How to Fight Them

By Mark Stackpole

Adopted children are often missing a portion of their lives, and Straughan believes they have a right to access all of the ingredients that make them who they are. "With no baby pictures, no pictures of their biological families, no toys from babyhood or early childhood, no intimate stories about their birth, first step or first word, it is critical to acknowledge the reality that these other people do [or did] exist," she says. "Not doing so denies the children the right to fully develop and embrace their identities and for others to perceive this identity."

These issues can be a special challenge for children who are adopted from other countries or by parents of a different racial or cultural background. As international adoption is often chosen by single women as an alternative to domestic adoption, several myths converge in regards to international adoptions and single parenthood. "Many people, including single women, choose international adoption to avoid the emotional heartbreak that can come with a domestic open adoption, when the birth parent is free to change her mind about placing the child for adoption," says Mikki Morrissette, "choice mother" of two and the author of Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide (Be-Mondo Pub., 2006). "A child in international adoptions basically is already placed with an agency or orphanage, and there tends to be a basic timeline and paperwork that leads to guaranteed placement of a child with a parent."

Want to see more?

• Finally Yours: When the Adoption Is Final
• International Adoption: Requirements by Country
• Six Lucky Siblings: An Older-child Adoption Story
• Talk about it!
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