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Flying Solo

Single Parent Adoption

Part Three

By National Adoption Information Clearinghouse

Perhaps the most important concept to keep in mind in searching for a child is determination. Whether you work with a public agency, pursue an independent adoption or look to another country for a child, you must be your own best advocate and stay focused on your goal of becoming a parent. This perseverance will serve you well as you enter the adoption arena.

You may have a good idea of the type of child you are interested in adopting. Or you may still be open to considering a variety of children.

If you are willing to consider an older child, a disabled child or a sibling group, you should approach a public or private agency. Many are responsible for children who are living in foster care or institutions and who are waiting for permanent homes.

Applicants must meet certain requirements, but depending on the agency, there is some flexibility in the selection process. Agencies are eager to place children with special needs. In general, an applicant needs to be at least 25 years old and need not own his or her own home or have a large income (subsidies are available for many of these children). Stability, maturity and flexibility are characteristics that are highly valued by agencies. In assessing single applicants, social workers are particularly concerned with your plans for childcare, the kind of support network (friends and family) that can serve as your backup and your ability to provide male or female role models.

A growing number of public agencies acknowledge that a single adoptive parent may, in fact, be the "placement of choice" for some children. Kathryn S. Donley, former executive director of New York Spaulding for Children sees single adoptive parents as having special capabilities that can be especially helpful to children who have had traumatic histories. They can provide (1) a high caliber of parenting potential (the screening process for singles is so exhaustive that only the most persistent survive), (2) a simplified environment where the number of complex relationships is reduced to a minimum, and (3) focused nurturing. Since the single parent has fewer distractions, he or she can perhaps spend a fair amount of time analyzing and responding to a child's needs and building a relationship.

Want to see more?

• Where Do I Start? Adoption Information for Beginners
• Go the Distance: Exploring International Adoption
• Domestic Adoption: Building a Family
• Talk about it!