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Conception After Adoption

Is There a Connection?

By Aleigh Acerni

Solchany isn't so sure. "Stress hormones and chemicals may take a while to completely get out of your system," she says. "Sometimes it takes a while for a couple to finally relax, and then their pathways open to make pregnancy easier. ... I've seen this happen with people who don't adopt and think they're just not going to have children. That resolution and relaxation allows them to get pregnant. I've seen a lot of people in their late 30s and early 40s who say, 'Well, we tried and I didn't get pregnant,' and they let it go, and then all of a sudden they find themselves pregnant at 42 and are shocked! But it just happens."

She would know. Not only does she work with parents of both biological and adoptive children, Solchany has two adoptive children of her own, a daughter from Romania and a son from Guatemala. "Most adoptive parents I talk to are totally convinced," she says. "They say, 'This is the way my life should've gone. If I hadn't been through the hard times, I wouldn't have this baby. It was meant to be.' I tell my daughter, 'I could've gone anywhere in the world, but I was meant to be here and find you, and you were meant to be mine.'"

Solchany does admit that this phenomenon may be more common for couples who have had difficulty and actively pursue a pregnancy, and then finally relinquish their desire for a biological child. "Really pursuing pregnancy through infertility work when it looks so easy for everyone else is stressful," she says. "Sex loses the enjoyment." Solchany offers one last word of warning for potential parents: "I will add that it is not a good idea to adopt in order to get pregnant, but it definitely happens."

Want to see more?

• Domestic Adoption: Building a Family
• Ready, Set, Conceive! Preconception Planning for a Healthy Pregnancy
• International Adoption: Building Families Without Borders
• Talk about it!