Conception After Adoption

Is There a Connection?

By Aleigh Acerni

It's an often-overlooked but prevalent phenomenon, and one that hasn't been studied in detail. The scenario: A couple decides to have a baby, but after being unsuccessful, turns to adoption – only to discover during the adoption process that they are also pregnant.

When Michelle Wolf and her husband, Patrick Register, of Charleston, S.C., decided to try for a baby three years ago, they never expected the experience to bring them anything but joy. But, "After three miscarriages and a lot of emotional and physical pain from those experiences, I decided I really didn't need to get pregnant to satisfy any need in me," says Wolf. "We just wanted to be parents. Both my husband and I felt that there are so many children in this world that need love; why not rescue one of them instead of creating yet another mouth to feed on this planet?"

The couple decided to pursue a domestic adoption, a process that took them 10 months to complete. The final step, a home study, was to be scheduled next, but by the time the state was ready to schedule, Wolf was already 5 months pregnant. She'd discovered her pregnancy a month after finding out that she and her husband had been approved to adopt.

Now their adoption has been put on hold, but only for a little while. "First I need to get through this birth and at least a year or two of raising our son," says Wolf. "I hope to set up the adoption process once again in about two years and adopt a little girl a year later or so – about three years from now. I look forward to the experience of meeting our little person and welcoming her into our home."

Couples that plan to adopt often find themselves pregnant, says JoAnne Solchany, Ph.D., a registered nurse, author and assistant professor of family and child nursing at the University of Washington in Seattle. "It happens a lot," says Solchany, who has studied the parent-child connection between both biological and adoptive children for over 30 years. "An aunt of mine adopted and then got pregnant right away. I think for those individuals and the ones that I've met, it's usually that they've let [their desire for biological children] go and made peace with it."

Want to see more?

• Domestic Adoption: Building a Family
• Ready, Set, Conceive! Preconception Planning for a Healthy Pregnancy
• International Adoption: Building Families Without Borders
• Talk about it!