quick clicks

preconception articles

preconception q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Trouble Conceiving?

Get the Right Medical Care!

Part I

By Julie Watson

It was 7 a.m. My husband whisked himself out of bed and hopped into the shower. Trying to make up for lost time, he skipped his usual shave. Meanwhile, I laid in bed for the next 20 minutes with my hips hiked up to what felt like the ceiling. Maybe, this time would be the month.

We literally had exhausted every suggestion I had heard of from the fertile community. My husband had changed to boxer shorts, I cut caffeine out of my diet and we went on those vacations! Still, after three years of trying all of these stunts, I could not believe that we could be having problems conceiving a child. After all, bad things never seemed to happen to me!

I firmly held on to what everyone else who had had success was telling me – that it must be the stress at my engineering job that was contributing to my inability to become pregnant. Nevertheless, after countless vacations to "relax," taking my temperature religiously and making love at the precise times every month, we were still left empty-handed.

As most of us know, denial is the first step of any grief process. Looking back now, it's obvious that I was in denial at that time – in the worst way. Perhaps the reason why those of us (who cannot conceive at the drop of a hat) have a hard time believing this truth at first is because we have grown up in the era of birth control. Because birth control is relatively 100 percent fool-proof these days, we have somehow misled ourselves into believing that birth control equals fertility control. Even though I had never been on the Pill, because of the very fact of growing up in this era, I also believed the same – that when I was ready to have a child, I just could ... and would!