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Flying Solo

Single Parent Adoption

Part Three

By National Adoption Information Clearinghouse

If you are considering foreign adoption, try to find people who have adopted children from abroad and meet their children. Attend parent group meetings where children accompany their parents and look at photographs of children from other countries. A child from Chile looks different from an Indian child or a child from El Salvador. See if this type of adoption "feels right" for you.

Betsy Burch, director of Single Parents Adopting Children Everywhere (SPACE), a Massachusetts support group, thinks that singles should consider adopting siblings. "If you want more than one child, and you want both children from the same country, you may want to adopt them at the same time," she says.

In doing this, you will not have to deal with the very changeable international adoption scene, where a country may accept single adopters one year and close their doors the next year. It may also speed the process since countries are eager to keep families intact and will let you adopt, for instance, an infant with his 3-year-old brother. The Committee for Single Adoptive Parents can provide a listing of adoption agencies that will work with you to locate a foreign child or children.

Another way to adopt a baby is through an independent or private adoption. It is important to find out if it is legal in your state and then find an attorney or physician willing to work with you. Like other adoption sources, singles compete with couples for available children. In this situation, it is often the birth mother who makes the final selection.

There are pros and cons to pursuing an independent adoption. Those who are against this method of finding a child feel that the screening process for adoptive parents is not rigorous enough and that birth parents don't receive adequate professional counseling before deciding to make an adoption plan for their child. In some cases, this lack of preparation may lead to an uninformed decision and a contested adoption later on. If for some reason the placement doesn't work, there is no licensed agency to accept responsibility for the child. The child would then become a charge of the state agency.

Want to see more?

• Where Do I Start? Adoption Information for Beginners
• Go the Distance: Exploring International Adoption
• Domestic Adoption: Building a Family
• Talk about it!