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Praying for Snow, Aunt Eleonore and a Healthy Son

Spirituality and Adoption

By Betsy Buckley

When it became clear that our fertility treatments were more than likely to be unproductive and my husband and I had decided to adopt a child, I relied on prayer as a coping mechanism through what seemed to be a horribly long waiting process. I prayed often during the course of adopting our son, perhaps because I was used to asking God for all sorts of things as a child: for lots of snow, for a day off from school, for my pet guinea pig to get well, for my Aunt Eleonore to somehow move back home from far away places and for hundreds of kid's things, now lost in oblivion.

As an adult, I prayed for the right partner and a happy marriage. And I'd prayed, too, for a family. So when it came time to adopt, asking God for a healthy son came easy. In the end, I came to need prayer like I needed to eat, because some things in life were simply too complex to grasp without it. What I didn't understand for a long time was the type of family God wanted me to have.

Some parents interviewed specifically cited Biblical verses as testament to their beliefs. Diane, the wife in one couple that had gone through an international adoption, said, "God promises to give children to the childless wife, so that she becomes a happy mother (Psalm 113:8), and I can see now that for us, adoption may be the fulfillment of that promise."

Others simply attributed their fortune – good or bad – to God. "It was meant to be," more than one parent said, and "God heard our prayers" was repeated over and over. For Helen from Michigan, it was God's decision that she would not be able to bear children, and she accepted her fate as His will. Another woman felt that God was punishing her for some reason by making her unable to conceive. Most parents, however, felt that God was merciful and was leading them onward. One mother said she felt the Holy Spirit working within her throughout the course of their Russian adoption. It was God, ultimately, that would give these people the strength to work through whatever difficulties they encountered, not their spouses or their neighbors.

Want to see more?

• Where Do I Start? Adoption Information for Beginners
• Flying Solo: Single Parent Adoption
• Waiting Children: Foster Care and Adoption Basics
• Talk About It!