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The Crystal Ball for Parents-To-Be

Don't You Dare Have Kids
Until You Read This!

A Review

By Kelly Burgess

Donaldson said that in doing research for his book, when he asked people why they wanted to have children the answer was, almost invariably, "I don't know, I just want children." To him, that's not really a good answer.

Even though Donaldson has no children of his own, he knows a little something about them thanks to his own family. As the second oldest of 11 children, he had plenty of younger siblings to help out with throughout his life. He sees his parents as an ideal example of what parents can be and always says he'll pass on to his child what his father passed on to him: to always try to be a better person than he was.

With his cocky Aussie accent and a tendency to call everyone "Mate" as if he's known them for years, Donaldson is cheerful, funny and pleasant in interviews. But he's also serious about his subject and so are his books. In spite of their breezy titles, they present an extremely straightforward approach to marriage and parenthood. Adding credibility to his message is the journey he takes the reader on when he reflects on his own doubts, uncertainties and questions.

In the introduction of Don't You Dare Have Kids Until You Read This! (Three Rivers Press, 2003) Donaldson points out that children in our society are often horribly mistreated. While his fondest hope is that parents who may be future abusers recognize their tendencies and avoid having children, the reality is that probably won't happen very often. He notes that we, as a society, have to deal with these children thanks to their bad parents and urges those who would be good parents to go ahead and have children because they would provide an ideal environment. However, it would have been quite compelling if Donaldson had challenged those future "good parents" to forego biological children, instead taking on children who are poorly parented and helping to turn their lives around.

Want to see more?

• Mulling Over Motherhood: Do You Really Want to Be a Mom?
• Going Solo: The Pursuit of Single Motherhood
• Decisions, Decisions: Which Path Is Right for You?
• Talk about it!