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The No Baby Blues

Infertility and Depression

By Kelly Burgess

What makes it even more difficult for women is that, even in very supportive marriages, their spouses may not understand what they're going through. Men simply don't react to the stress and anxiety of fertility treatments in the same way women do, says Dr. Mark P. Leondires, reproductive endocrinologist.

"Infertility treatment doesn't affect the male partner in the same way because they're not dealing with the therapy every day, and they're not dealing with getting a menstrual period every month," says Dr. Leondires. "Often, men just want this fixed. They just want their wives to get pregnant, but they're also able to put it aside for other things when they want to. Women often can't do that."

Infertility also tests relationships, because infertility treatments affect every aspect of a couple's life, Dr. Leondires says. "Once you get into the fertility grind, you're with it every minute of every day," he says. "You have to do these injections at these specific times, and you can't go to a party or have a drink or have sex. Sex, in fact, is reduced to work or a sperm sample. This may distance couples and cause isolation and worsen the depression." Add in the extreme hormonal changes that infertility treatments can induce, and it can become an emotionally volatile time.

Schalesky says she never felt as if her emotional state was being neglected at the clinic where she underwent treatment. However, they never came right out and talked about depression either. Some doctors are already changing that approach. Dr. Leondire

Want to see more?

• From Mood Swings to Baby Swings: Clinical Depression and Conception
• Mind Over "Matter" – Infertility, Medicine and the Mind/Body Connection
• Healing the Mind, Healing the Body: An Interview With Helen Adrienne, MSW, ACSW, BCD
• Talk about it!

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