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The No Baby Blues

Infertility and Depression

By Kelly Burgess

It's probably not news that symptoms of depression often accompany infertility. Still, the medical community has traditionally focused on the physical aspect of infertility, ignoring the emotional roller coaster that couples ride during treatments. As new research shows the importance of emotional state to successful infertility treatments, the traditional focus will expand.

Studies show that 55 percent of patients who participate in mind/body therapy get pregnant within six months compared with 20 percent in a control group. In other words, it works both ways: Women who are depressed because of infertility also have lower rates of success with infertility treatments. Treating the depression may increase the chance for a successful pregnancy.

Depression associated with infertility is not the same as typical depression. Lisa Tuttle, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in fertility counseling, says that depression related to infertility is a combination of emotions: not just sadness, but jealousy, anger and grief.

"Jealousy is probably the most painful, and more so because it's not really a socially acceptable emotion," says Tuttle. "There's also guilt for depriving spouses and parents of a child, loneliness and often loss of faith." Obsession is also a factor. Tuttle encounters many women who say they can't stop thinking about it, that it haunts them even while they're sleeping.

Marlo Schalesky wrote Empty Womb, Aching Heart (Bethany House Publishers, 2001) from her own experience with infertility. She calls depression almost a normal part of [infertility treatments]. "Part of the reason is that every month you're reminded that you once again have failed to become pregnant," she says.

Schalesky experienced the gamut of emotions, from jealousy when it seemed as if everyone else had children, to loneliness, to occasional crises of faith. "I struggled physically, emotionally and spiritually," she says. "My faith helped in some ways, but in some ways it made it more difficult as well, because I had the additional question of why wouldn't God bless me. I really struggled with the spiritual aspect of my infertility."

Want to see more?

• From Mood Swings to Baby Swings: Clinical Depression and Conception
• Mind Over "Matter" – Infertility, Medicine and the Mind/Body Connection
• Healing the Mind, Healing the Body: An Interview With Helen Adrienne, MSW, ACSW, BCD
• Talk about it!