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Off the Beaten Path

A Different Road To Motherhood

Part Two

By Kathleen Sorabella

Through hosting we were able to discern that at this point in our lives, we aren't necessarily interested in diapering and 2:00 a.m. feedings. We learned that the age of a child isn't what's primarily important. To us, the importance is the love we have to offer and the room we have in our hearts to accept whomever finds his or her way home to us. We have discovered perspective and can now see beyond the "It has to be an infant" stage that we both experienced when initially discussing adoption. As best described by my friend Phil, this experience has given us directions on how to "get out of the box." In climbing out, we found there is a whole new world open to us out here!

Another of the lessons learned through our experience with infertility is that life is not simply black and white, gray exists. That gray area is the realm in which we searched when looking for meaning and hope of parenthood; that gray has been finding creative and unique parenting opportunities such as hosting other people's children. Being given the gift of sharing the child of another for a specific period of time is a gift of parenthood that, not long ago, seemed out of reach to us. The gift of being allowed to see that young person grow up a little, scrape his knees and get back up again, then sending him back home whole. Part of my inner darkness is filled every day that I wonder what he or she will grow up to become and knowing that we played a role in that.

Our newest student arrives next week. She is a rising ballerina attending a local private high school for the performing art. This child is different in that she is from the States, but as with Daniel, she will be with us an entire school year (never say never). Her room is ready and waiting and we hope that when our time is up with her that our own child will be ready and waiting for us via adoption. Until then, I will continue to fill that ever-present void of motherhood with other people's children entrusted to our care.

Want to see more?

• Waiting Children: Foster Care and Adoption Basics
• The End of the Road: Letting Go of Biological Parenthood
• Difficult Decisions: Adoption After Infertility
• Talk about it!