Why Can't I Have a Flower on Mother's Day?

A Question Finally Answered

By Julie Watson

As I was getting dressed for church, I winced when I turned on the TV and heard the morning news. How could I have forgotten? I knew it was coming all week. I even played around with the idea that maybe I just wouldn't go to church today. I didn't know if I could stand it one more year! The day of the year most women look forward to most, I loathed. It was Mother's Day once again.

Once again, after seven years of trying to become a mother, I still was not one. My husband and I had exhausted practically every treatment effort, short of in-vitro fertilization. We had even gone down a couple adoption paths, empty handed. At times our hope had diminished to a faded glimmer of life with an extended family. Year after year I wondered – was I ever going to be able to receive a flower of my own on Mother's Day?

As we arrived at church, my husband whispered to me to go find us a seat. He claimed that he needed to make a stop at the bathroom. I found us a pew and began to kneel. "Please, Lord," I prayed, "let me be a mother soon! I can barely take this emptiness anymore! Why won't you answer our prayers?!" My anger and confusion at Him had become evident by now, but I wasn't going to lose faith in Him, either. I had already learned this lesson from previous trials in my life. "Fine!" I prayed. "If you won't answer our prayers, then just let me know why we can't have a baby – we deserve that! You know we do." Tears rolled down my face as I almost broke down completely in church. I quickly wiped them away as the lecturer instructed us to stand for the beginning of mass. My husband, whose long disappearance I hadn't even noticed, slipped quietly into the pew next to me.