Not Forgotten

Remembering the Children

By Amanda Formaro

The next morning I began my recovery. My husband, friends, family and coworkers were wonderful. They expressed their sympathy and were encouraging as well. I don't believe that I have ever heard the phrase "It must not have been meant to be" so many times before in my life. So I guess that's true. It must not have been meant to be, something must have been wrong. Why else would it have happened? One minute a heartbeat, the next...nothing.

A year later I became pregnant again and had another miscarriage. This time there never was a heartbeat. I was 13 weeks along when it was discovered that only the sack was growing but nothing was alive inside. This time I was admitted to outpatient for another D&C to remove yet another baby from my life.

Soon after, my mother passed away at the young age of 45. I was 23 years old then. She never got to see any of her grandchildren and that just broke my heart. I still grieve over that.

When I was 24, I discovered I was pregnant. A close eye was kept on me due to my history. Several ultrasounds were administered but there was never a problem. Not even morning sickness. In June of 1992 my first son was born. He was perfect in every way. Heaven had sent me my first child. I couldn't have been happier. I had always feared that I would never be able to have children I thought that I would miscarry every pregnancy.

I am now the proud mommy of four children. I never had another problem after my second miscarriage. If it weren't for my family and friends the effects might have been mentally devastating. Thanks to all who were there for me I love you all.

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