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Motherhood and Mental Health

Finding a Balance

By Shel Franco

"I don't think I lasted three full weeks without it before my obstetrician considered the medication to be the safest route," Perry says.

For most women, going off the medication is not an answer to pregnancy and parental bliss. Paul explains that a women with mental health issues who wants to be a mother needs to learn and experience effective methods for handling stress.

Paul advocates building a strong personal and spiritual connection. She addresses this very subject in her books, and teaches a process called Inner Bonding at workshops throughout the country.

"It works so well, because it creates a strong and personal spiritual connection, which is the key to becoming healed and whole," Paul says. "When a person learns to connect with a personal source of wisdom, love and power, she can tap into this at any time to help her deal with the stresses of life. This spiritual connection enables her to become, over time and with practice, a powerful adult capable of handling the difficult feelings that may arise without taking them out on a child."

Cultivating spiritual and personal strength takes time to achieve. A surprise pregnancy or specific medical circumstances may not give you the luxury of long-term planning. Still, there are positive immediate steps that you can take to care for your mental health while you prepare to care for a new baby.

• Remember your physical needs. Don't stop taking your medications.
• Eat right and get plenty of rest. "I took naps everyday during lunchtime," Perry says. "I live less than three minutes from where I worked, and I would go home for two-hour naps."
• Indulge in stress-relieving activities. Check out local yoga classes, videotapes and meditation instruction. Include at least one activity each day that you thoroughly enjoy. Perry practices martial arts and relaxes through the stretching sessions.
• Avoid stress-producing activities. The simplest daily activities can cause worry and strain. "I let go of my financial control of things and many of my day-to-day concerns," says Nicole Mitchell, of Abilene, Texas, who suffers from chronic major depression with severe anxiety disorder. "My husband took everything in hand, and I simply worried about myself and the baby."
• Do not leave your doctor out of the equation. Discuss your desires to be a mother with a supportive medical professional.

Want to see more?

• I Think I Can: Mental Health and Conception
• Planning a High Risk Pregnancy
• Mulling Over Motherhood: Do You Really Want to Be a Mom?
• Talk about it!