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Oh the People You Meet ...

When You're Trying to Conceive

By Jessica Frank

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questionnaire asked about my menstrual cycle, my sex life and my ability to conceive – very personal stuff. Apparently, it was never even read by the RE.

The very first question out of her mouth was, "Have you ever been pregnant?" Hello? Page one, part of page two and the top of page three were devoted to information on my stillbirth and my miscarriage due to trisomy 15, which she actually corrected me on when I pronounced it wrong. Can we say dislike? I disliked this woman immensely. She was cold and compassionless.

She clinically went on to explain how the stillbirth and the trisomy were most likely not related (I was liking her a little bit now), and then she blew it big time by explaining how my stillbirth probably happened and how the baby was most likely cut off from oxygen for a period of time and probably was thrashing and active at the end. Thank you very much doctor! That's just what a patient wants to hear after having buried her child.

OK. Deep breath. The woman then went on to say, "Well you're not infertile." (By definition infertility is not being able to achieve a pregnancy.) She went on to say that she would run a standard battery of tests on me. Yet, in the first breath, she said that she hadn't seen our records – even though I had them forwarded a month prior – and that she couldn't prescribe a plan until she had seen them. In the next breath, she was prescribing tests involving dye in my tubes and pain – unnecessary pain at this point in time – and handing me a paper gown to put on.

I walked out. I grabbed my husband who was happily

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