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Oh the People You Meet ...

When You're Trying to Conceive

By Jessica Frank

-old. This call was received while I was in the police precinct awaiting fingerprinting for the adoption agency. The police officers laughed the whole time that I was having the conversation. It was a sight to see.

Andy and I had bought a shih tzu puppy and had just come from the vet. She was on my lap while I was talking to a strip club owner about her "pregnant girls," awaiting my turn with a series of police station regulars waiting to be fingerprinted. It's something I'll never forget. If you knew me you'd understand. I epitomize the image of the wholesome good girl – not someone to be found in the police precinct and certainly not someone who would expose her puppy to this!

Anyway, keeping that story in mind and the 20 others I can share with you about the domestic adoption experience, we sought to do international adoption. We found a wonderful agency which stated that in about six months I will get the referral, which means the picture of my baby (mine! mine! mine!) and the medical/social information. It is at this time that we can opt to accept or decline the child. They allow us to bring the information to a reputable pediatrician to be checked out. After we formally accept the referral and after we cry our eyes out and use up all of the social worker's tissues, we are given an approximate date (three to five months) when our baby will arrive at our local airport.

In the meantime, mountains – OK, not mountains, but hills of paperwork – await us. We're almost done filling the paperwork out and completing a four-part home study. A home study is an analysis of the home and everyone living in it. The social worker meets with you as a couple, then with each of you individually, then comes to your home and finally has you meet with a group of others also adopting before they grant you consent. On Wednesday, we met with her as a couple and it went really well. It was almost fun talking about the future for a change and not dwelling on the pain of the last year. Maybe, just maybe, adoption is the way to go for us, but ...

Want to see more?

• iParenting Adoption
• International Adoption: Building Families Without Borders
• Crueler Than Hope: Handling the Disappointments of Trying to Conceive
• My Turn – Again? Life After Stillbirth and Miscarriage
• Talk about it!