Oh the People You Meet ...

When You're Trying to Conceive

By Jessica Frank

From the minute I accepted that engagement ring 1.25 carats, sparkling gold and shining I dreamt of being a mom. I looked into my fianc禳 eyes and imagined what a child of ours would look like. I imagined waking up to them both, Sundays in the park playing ball, birthday parties filled with neighborhood children and parent conferences where I heard everything that a parent dreams of hearing from a teacher.

Fast forward three years, one stillbirth and one miscarriage later. I still wake up and look into my husband's eyes and dream of what will be and what should be. We've been thrown a few curve balls in our attempts at becoming parents, but we are not letting it stop us from achieving our goals. We're just being creative.

Last week, Andy took the week off his one vacation for the next six months. He gave me way too much notice that he was taking off. That was his first mistake. I booked appointment after appointment with doctors, genetic counselors, social workers and any other pertinent people in my quest to be a mom.

I wasn't being cruel I left the afternoons free for lunch and beach time, but the mornings were packed. Every appointment required that the two of us attend together. Every time we went anywhere, we were obligated to fill out piles and piles of paperwork talk about reliving the nightmares. But to go ahead, you need to take a few steps backward, and we did.

Monday we walked into the same hospital where I delivered Derek stillborn eight months before and had the D and C for my miscarriage eight weeks before that. (I'm starting to hate the number eight!) We were asked to fill out paperwork at the central registration office after checking in at genetic counseling and insurance. After a hal

Want to see more?

• iParenting Adoption
• International Adoption: Building Families Without Borders
• Crueler Than Hope: Handling the Disappointments of Trying to Conceive
• My Turn Again? Life After Stillbirth and Miscarriage
• Talk about it!